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Thursday, December 09, 2004 

Drunks and child beggars

Can you believe a judge made a pub shut down for 3 days and fined it €150 because Gardai found a drunk and incoherent man inside?

I am shocked by the lawlessness of my fellow Dubliners and I must doff my cap to the Gardai for coming up with such a clever and well-worked sting. Who would ever have thought to go into a pub at 10 o'clock at night to find a drunk person? Judge Gerard Haugton, who we can assume has never once in his life been drunk, has ordered The Confession Box in Marlborough Street to close from Jan 7th - 9th next year and the owner must pay staff for the three day closure.

I'm told that future Gardai operations will include raids on restaurants to find people engaged in gluttony, one of the seven deadly sins; Brown Thomas department store to catch people shooping with intent and parks across Dublin to arrest anybody enjoying the fresh air with gay abandon.

In other news it appears that more than 1000 children were seen begging on the streets of Dublin this year. The report says that many of these children were from the 'Traveller or Roma' communities. In other words they're knackers or gyppos.

My solution to this would be to round up these children when they're begging and put them in a pound like they do with cars. Leave a little sticker on the ground from where they were taken with a phone number so the concerned parents can come and retrieve them if they so desire. When they come charge them €120 to get the kid back, with a €12 per day storage fee if they don't come at once. That should cut down on the number of child beggars almost immediately. If the child is left for more than 30 days it can be assumed that nobody wants it and it can be sent to Africa to be ground down for food for famine victims.

ah, the old south american solution to child poverty. as a libertarian i find it offensive that you propose the council be running a pound. leave it to the business community to apply market forces, with extreme prejudice, as the yanks would say.

you are some cunt ...

"you are some cunt"

Thank you.

As for the council running the pound the money could be ploughed back into worthwhile projects in the community like blowing up halting sites and ethnically cleansing people from Cavan.

Apparently the UK "discriminated against Roma" because we refused to let the thieving bastards onto a plane flying our direction. Apparently Roma-Czechs are 400 times more likely to be told to "fuck off home" at Prague airport than non-Roma-Czechs if they try to get to the UK.

Fucking right, too. Thieving gypo bastards.

As for insane arrests, there was a guy last season who fell asleep during a Middlesbrough match at the Riverside. At that particular time, I know several season ticket holders there who'd not blame him - they were shit.

After working a long shift, getting a couple of hours' sleep and drinking 3 pints, he headed to the match. The lack of sleep caught up with him and he nodded off. A steward spotted him and handed him to the police. He was charged with "being drunk inside a sporting arena", fined and had his season ticket withdrawn.

I could understand "being drunk, abusive, kicking hell out of someone and vomiting on a policeman", but "being tired and having a nap during a shite football game which you've paid the thick end of £30 to attend" is surely a bit fucking harsh.

Surely it would be more equitable to arrest everybody who shows up at any sporting event. This would disincentivize sport while at the same time providing enormously greater supplies of ground long pig for the African famine victims, all at a tidy profit. Everybody wins.

Isn't 150 euro kind of like, you know, less than you get for being a contract killer in the Free State these days?

what does "cunt" mean???

'cunt' is one of the oldest recorded words in the english language, another word for 'vagina', there are records of the word as far back as 700 years ago. This is totally true, i read it in a magazine that i found under my brothers bed a few years ago called 'Knave'. And yes there were plenty of pictures to help clarify, incase i hadnt noticed my own.

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